madm... im suposed to tell you hi...
and from me.. you are better than this.. and you knoit!!!

we loves ya

i love you guys too........i know all that.....just...dont know cant put it into words....very frustrating

i understand sweetie....

you didt do anything wrong, but you feellike you are the one who has to pay for it...

i feel like im the ONLY one paying for it and all of "them" (meaning him and his family/friends) think i dont deserve any answers to it...just being blown off like i dont matter....im the ONLY one who got hurt in this whole fricken mess!!!!!!!! im angry, hurt, devistated, shocked, confused, etc.... it just really pisses me off how easily things are dismissed. its not like this was just some random online relationship.......this was real life, real feelings and emotions, physical contact, day to day, face to face, etc.... its crazy!!!!!!! his mother sent me an email yesterday saying i am not the only one hurting, that she and his father were too? how so? i didnt even get that one or what she meant by it.

you know what it took for me to finally open up and accept this in my heart. now its there and im feeling more empty than before. i feel so fcuking stupid for believing in him and his bullchit. im more angry at me than him for allowing it to happen. i went against my better judgement!

madam... my sweet sweet friend...

you were not wrong for trying to beleve in love!!
and i know you are hurting now. and i know that it doesnt help any, but you know that you deserve so MUCHMUCH more than this!!
i hurt so much to see you hurt. i just want to give you ahug!!
or kick him!!!
you are so wonderful and beautiful.. inside and out....
the walls.. they help for a little bit...

but have you ever played the simms?? where you buid them houses adn stuf.. well you can build a wall completely around one of them.. its just himin this box...
and while it is true that NOTHING can get in to hurt him!... he still dies..

a thread dedicated to me?

definately a front runner there toast!!

I don't know I think I've seen pic of sexier horses


((((izzie))))

((((Madame)))


((((toasty)))

(((((fire))))))

so...
i got the oddest email eirler today.. from someone whom i have never heard from before... i dont usualy have my IM on.. only turn it on once i a while to talk to a friend...

so anywy.. heres the emai...
i have edited the ## and the name...



Mon 05/05/08 10:22 AM
Subject: Goddess
Body: You are absolutely gorgeous!!!I'm fairly new to this and I am completely attracted to you!I've been attracted to you since the first time I saw you,I've sent you a lot of IM's not sure if you didn't get them or if you past me by either way I don't give up that easy I think you are VERY beautiful!I'm moving up there in 3 weeks for business I work in the Hotel/Resort industry I work directly for investors that build Hotels/Resorts my job is to oversee a project from ground till it's operational on it's own,I'll be there for about 3-6 years!Little bit about me I'm sweet,caring,honest and loyal I LOVE to kiss I'm a pretty good cook I give great massages!I also love to pamper and please given the chance I would make you feel like a Goddess I do have a VERY naughty side for the right person but I am also passionate and romantic! I can't lie to you I have fantasized about you quite a few times I'd love to kiss you! I am very interested in you and getting to know you so if your interested give me a call ###-###-#### till then Goddess!!! Luv *************





how odd huh?!?!!?!?!?

Madam have faith, things will get better and the pain does start to ease. I know it's not fair that you aren't getting the answers or respect you deserve but you are strong enough to grow, take what you have learned about opening up and move on . It's never easier, but if love was easy it wouldn't mean so much to us because it would be taken for granted.

Wow, well I don't know if I'd feel flattered or creeped especially about the fantasizing part. For some odd reason you get to attract the "special" ones out there

let me guess...luv ken

so... madam.... how much money does he want!??!?!

iz...i emailed you about me goddess lmao

i needed that crap from him today like i need a hole in my head!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont know whether to be thankful or bothered that I don't get creepy pickup mails from strangers calling me a goddess???

trust me fire...
be thankful on this one....



madam.. im still laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

what can i say, it cannot be helped

What can I say, I prefer Quarter Horses or Appaloosas to cartoons.