Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Movie nudity is virtually always female.
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
You can open all your own jars.
Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.
Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
All your orgasms are real.
You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Nobody secretly wonders whenther you swallow.
Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.
You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
You can write your name in the snow.
Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Flowers fix everything.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me".
The world is your urinal.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
One mood, all the time .
You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too seedy.
You can sit with your knees apart no matter what your'e wearing.
Gray hair and wrinkes only add character.
You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
Wedding dress:$2,000;tuxedo rental:$75
You don't care if someone's talking about you behind your back.
With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

Those are good

You can be President

better then alot of others dude, it can bring a tear to a glass eye cause its so true