Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the
party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued
and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there
was no need for his good time to be spoiled by her not going. So he
took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain,
and as it was still early, decided to go to the party.
As her husband didn’t know what her costume was, she thought she would
have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was
not with him.

So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his
costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice “chick”
he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he
left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.
She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her
husband.

After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition
in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had
passionate intercourse in the back seat.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and
put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of
explanation he would make up for his outrageous behaviour.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what
kind of time he had. “Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good
time when you’re not there.”

Then she asked,” Did you dance much?”
He replied, I’ll tell you; I never even danced one dance.
When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went
into the spare room and played poker all evening.

” You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playingpoker
all night!” she said with unashamed sarcasm. To which the husband
replied, “Actually, I gave my costume to your brother, apparently
he had the time of his life”!