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| Topic: Marriage | |
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Well, I'm mad then. I love being married. I love the wholeness of it all. It is work in the beginning. It is'nt so easy learning to combine our stuff and whats mine and whats your and where it should go. The minding that we cannot do as we once did as a single unit. I love that a man loved himself enough to love that special thing about me that made him want me to be a part of him. Vise versa with me. I choose someone for what and who we are together. What we can do and become as two. A man who marries me gets a good wife. I have been incredably lucky as well. We spoil each other. Love each other. Want to do for each other. Working for and not against each other. The state had nothing to do with it for me. But, marriage is very important to me. It is a commitment that deserves my best as well as his. Living together to me is a throw away form of dating. Not to be trusted with my heart. Kat well put Kat |
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Nope. I don't think so. My X-husband's idea of becoming one was to consume me ~ body mind and soul. I felt as if he were consuming my spirit, my soul, my energy.. my being. Besides, Marriage is a contract between a man, a woman and THE STATE. It holds the idea that a man owns his wife. Today they feel they own each other... a binding contract. eeewww. It makes me shutter. I think to become one, is to find the balance within yourself. I am for the individual, not for becoming one with another person. (I don't believe that God made Adam from dust or that he made Eve from Adam's rib.) Perhaps ancient genetic scientists engineered the first two humans with DNA in some lab, but that other story is just a fairy tale IMO. Marriage is not for me. Not that I am against it for other people, and I certainly don't hate men. I just don't want to be one. Or become one with one. I want to be me and become one with me.  JB hahahahaha  MEN - CANT LIVE WITH THEM - AND CANT LIVE WTH THEM |
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Zapchaser writes: As long as I am happy that is all that matters, right? "You're damn strait!" Life is too short not to be happy. Free yourself! There are 50 ways to leave your lover/spouse/jailer/ JB (Don't mind me I was married to a phyco for too long.) must be tough being married to a psychiatrist i feel for you -
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God's creative work wasn't complete until he made woman. He could have made her from the dust of the ground, as he made man. God chose, however, to make her from the man's flesh and bone. In so doing, he illustrated that in marriage man and woman symbolically become one flesh. This is a mystical union of the couple's hearts and lives. Throughout the Bible, God treats this special partnership seriously. If you are planning to be married, are you willing to keep the commitment that makes the two of you one? What are some helpful habits you can begin to develop that will help you honor that commitment? it all goes down to love and respect. a woman is commanded by god to respect her husband and in turn a man must love his wife as he loves himself. one person can make a difference by doing either of those. men's egos are tender without a wife's respect and in turn if there is no respect, the man won't show as much love toward his wife, and in turn she will show less respect. its called the crazy cycle according to dr. emerson eggrichs. a great book to read, even if not getting married is called "love and respect". there is also "cracking the communication code" by the same man. these books talk about how god created men and women for a specific reason and how each gender sees things from the same situation. i highly recommend these for anyone who wants a healthy relationship. most men dont know what loves is and by the time they find out their to old to do anything about it - 
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SK, the funny thing is we are the ones who REALLY leave the mess. Lift up a toilet seat and look under the rim. Guys do not do that we do when we don't point straight down. Our stuff splashes up too. And we ask the guys to put their hands under the seat and lift it up.....
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Let's not bash on men now. It is hard for a man to show his feelings and tell HIS stories. But when he does that means he really loves you. Now when we break that mans heart it hurts him more than when a man breaks ours. We can go cry to our girlfriends, etc... or lay in our bed whining. What does a man do? He gets angry and distrustful. Let us be realistic. Women can be cruel nowadays. It is like a cat and mouse game. I am so glad to be married and happy about it. My daughter is 20 and I worry about her. So far, so good though.
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Let's not bash on men now. It is hard for a man to show his feelings and tell HIS stories. But when he does that means he really loves you. Now when we break that mans heart it hurts him more than when a man breaks ours. We can go cry to our girlfriends, etc... or lay in our bed whining. What does a man do? He gets angry and distrustful. Let us be realistic. Women can be cruel nowadays. It is like a cat and mouse game. I am so glad to be married and happy about it. My daughter is 20 and I worry about her. So far, so good though. women have always been cruel. |
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I never have been...seriously. I always wanted to be loved and to love. Maybe, it is because my father left when I ws 13. Maybe, I have always needed a man in my life. I call my husband " Daddy " all the time. I told him I want him to be the boss. He treats me very sweet and we have great sex. I talk to my dad now and he laughs when he hears me call my hubby daddy. I want my daughters to treat their men with respect and like friends. If they happen
 to break up I hope they do it in a nice way.
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Edited by
anoasis
on
Wed 06/04/08 08:08 PM
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I personally don't believe that particular creation story that you quoted. "the commitment that makes the two of you one" ? I'm not sure. We are getting married but we don't really talk about it like that. We like being together. We like some of the same things but not everything the same by any means. Sometimes I ask him why he wants to marry me and he always has different answers. Some are lame like, "because you're so beautiful". That's not a good reason to me. My favorite was when he said it was "because you challenge me completely on every possible level". I dont think we will necessarily "become one". I think we are just two people that have fun together and are very attracted to one another and now we are best friends who tell each other everything and act goofy at the grocery store together and rub each others backs. When we are apart we want to know what the other one is doing. We can't wait to find out... Although he does call me his "other half" I think we are just two people who are committed to achieving our individual goals together... and having fun... and making each other laugh. What are some helpful habits you can begin to develop that will help you honor that commitment? Tips? Hmm.... I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And I pray. Mostly for patience. |
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My brother goes to the visits Phillipines often through his work. You would love an asian, phillipine etc woman. they are just really nice. But, beware of the ones that were prostitutes.
Or,the ones who just want their citizenship. Go over there and spend a month or two. Meet the locals. You will feel welcome. |
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Zapchaser writes: As long as I am happy that is all that matters, right? "You're damn strait!" Life is too short not to be happy. Free yourself! There are 50 ways to leave your lover/spouse/jailer/ JB (Don't mind me I was married to a phyco for too long.) must be tough being married to a psychiatrist i feel for you - You know when people split up a person's post and quote one sentence and someone else quotes theirs it appears that the original poster said something that they didn't. I was never married to a Psychologist and never said I was.  Never said psycho either. As Bartell and Jaymes said so eloquently...... "thanks for listenin'".
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