<>It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.




<> You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.




<>
We have enough youth.

How about a fountain of "smart"?







The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.




<> A fool and his money
can throw one hell of a party.




<> when blondes have more fun do they know it?






<> Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.




<> LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL


<>

<> money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.




<> Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.




<> If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you.




<> Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.




<> Time's fun when you're having flies.

......Kermit the Frog




<> We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.




<>Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.




<> Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.




<> One good thing about Alzheimer's is
you get to meet new people every day.


Friends don't let friends
take ugly people home.



<> > Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.




Alabama state motto:

At least we're not Mississippi




<> Gaseous clouds
have been detected
around Uranus.




<> ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.




<>

GUN CONTROL:
using both hands




The more I learn about terrorism,
the more I understand the phone company.




The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population





Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant"
is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist ".

... all these and yet the only one that made me chuckle out loud was:

Gaseous clouds have been detected around Uranus.


...guess I might never grow up

<> You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.


This is my favorite... just how true is that????