Wonder if somebody is selling portable holes on eBay?

was begining to think you were ignoring us...

Never. Wouldn't be a good stalker if I did that, would I?

you mean shovels???

Those are neat too...but no.

so.. a pimp??

The portable hole is a common magical item in both role-playing games and fantasy fiction (and cartoons as well).

The portable hole is a circle of magic cloth roughly 6 feet across. It is said to be woven from the webs of a magical spider, and infused with the essence of the astral plane. To use a portable hole you simply unfold it, and toss it upon any non-living surface. It will create a hole about ten feet deep. This hole is extra-dimensional in nature, for example, you could toss it onto a table, and a ten foot deep hole would appear on the top of the table, yet it would not penetrate the bottom of the table top.

You can fill a portable hole as full as you would like. Then you simply grab one of the edges, and fold it back up. It becomes no heavier (no matter how much you fill it). You can even store living creatures inside of one of these, except that the hole does not produce its own air, so creatures will suffocate quickly, unless air is somehow provided.

The best use for a portable hole is not as an escape device, it is to carry outrageous amounts of equipment, without worrying about weight or bulk (feel like hauling your entire collection of armor on every mission, no problem).

Portable holes do not mix well with bags of holding (or any other item that produces an extra-dimensional space). Placing one of these items inside the other will destroy both of them (and anything inside), and will probably suck anyone on the vicinity into an alternate dimension.

Now I'm going to have to look for a bag of holding too. Dammit.

so.... a shovel and a rope??

That sounds like fun.

I suppose you can make an anchor by tying the rope to the shovel. I'm not sure why you would, but I suppose you could.

Hmm... shovels as lawn darts...

where can I buy some pine beetles????

The same place you can buy a portable hole? I'm just guessing.

I don't think they sell them with ropes and shovels.

but I need some pine beetles.....to kill off the pine trees "legally"

Which doesn't make sense to me for some reason.

Actually I have some. The spiders love them.

Fat and juicy from eating tree all day.

Meh.