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| Topic: My baby daddy | |
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My opinion - he's an a$$. Being a father myself, I can not see how anyone would not want to be in their child's life.....so when a father doesn't want anything to do with their child, it's probably the best thing for the child.
Now about the finances. HELL YEAH!!! He should still be responsible for providing for that child - even if he doesn't want to see him. You know, anyone can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a Daddy. |
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child support is not foryou hun it is for your child. your child has the RIGHT to that money no matter what. Even if yuo won the lotto and had fifty million dollars every month for the rest ofyour life, the child would still have the right to collect said support if only to put it into a savings account for the future. I agree....start procedures ,maybe you can even talk to him and do it reasonably |
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i would file papers and work out an amicable agreement then have it put in a court order.As I don't know him,he may have had reasons he felt he wouldn't have made a good dad.Not everyone can handle children .child support is for the child and helps buy clothes,buy food and such.It is the Dad's portion of the cost of raising a child.
Most men don't want to pay because they think the mom benefits.No one I know has gone to Bermuda or bought a Porche with the money. 
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i would file papers and work out an amicable agreement then have it put in a court order.As I don't know him,he may have had reasons he felt he wouldn't have made a good dad.Not everyone can handle children .child support is for the child and helps buy clothes,buy food and such.It is the Dad's portion of the cost of raising a child. Most men don't want to pay because they think the mom benefits.No one I know has gone to Bermuda or bought a Porche with the money. Perhaps you can tell me what my ex is doing with the support money when a portion of it's for daycare and she decided on her own to pull him out of daycare so I can tell you with 100% certainty she is not using all this support money for my son. So I really don't want to hear it. |
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Kitten I have so much respect for you. I felt the same way about the courts. You should not have to ask him for money. Tell him just as you told us & see what he does. 200.00 is nothing. He should give you something each month, & if he won't do it on his own then go for child support. You should not have to go thru this! Thank you. Your right, I shouldn't even have to ask. I did just get a reply back from him and he said no problem about the money. I just wonder if I should see about a lawyer anyhow. If he's willfully paying to help raise the child it shouldn't be a problem. But in the event that it does become a problem you should have records of some sort as to what he's paid and if he becomes a deadbeat for no apparent reason (ie, job loss, natural disaster) you can go after him for BACK support as well. |
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Getting childs support sounds all well and good but sometimes it is just more misery than it is worth to chase it down to get it. For two hundred bucks I would not want to open old emotional wounds. Yes it is your kids entitlement but if it upsets you and brings someone around tha might tbe a lousey example of a adult I might just pass as more explining what is really un explainable..
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Edited by
freakyflow
on
Fri 04/18/08 07:05 AM
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Hi wanted you to know Becareful what you do make sure you have all the facts in your favor and on paper see a lawyer some of the advise people are giving you have changing laws from state to state. You should see a lawyer involve you B/F as a father figure the only one as one in his/her life
If the baby father isn't around and hasn't been for a number of months and you can prove that in a court of law then he has waved his rights as a father full rights will be under you the 2nd part would be payment of needs which you have to add up in the needs of the baby/child Do not be shy to inclue want you need...Really it's not about you or him As a mother you want best for hom/her and sometimes its hard making ends meet this will help... Plan ahead ..good luck |
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i would file papers and work out an amicable agreement then have it put in a court order.As I don't know him,he may have had reasons he felt he wouldn't have made a good dad.Not everyone can handle children .child support is for the child and helps buy clothes,buy food and such.It is the Dad's portion of the cost of raising a child. Most men don't want to pay because they think the mom benefits.No one I know has gone to Bermuda or bought a Porche with the money. No sh!t. He has been to my apartment before, and see's that I don't have much. Everything that he has given me, has gone straight to my son, not me at all. I'm just sick of being broke and having to beg family to help me buy diapers sometimes. The little bit of money he gave me last week is gone!! 200 bucks is nothing, compared to how much I really need a month to get the things my son needs. Anyhow, thanks everyone for your replies. I'm still broke as a joke. But am thankful I have a wonderful child and feel blessed to call him my son. 
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i would file papers and work out an amicable agreement then have it put in a court order.As I don't know him,he may have had reasons he felt he wouldn't have made a good dad.Not everyone can handle children .child support is for the child and helps buy clothes,buy food and such.It is the Dad's portion of the cost of raising a child. Most men don't want to pay because they think the mom benefits.No one I know has gone to Bermuda or bought a Porche with the money. Perhaps you can tell me what my ex is doing with the support money when a portion of it's for daycare and she decided on her own to pull him out of daycare so I can tell you with 100% certainty she is not using all this support money for my son. So I really don't want to hear it. wasnt talking to you or about you. |
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Edited by
briancarr
on
Fri 04/18/08 04:31 PM
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So my sons father and I were dating, became great friends. I wound up prego and he left for a year to go to school in china. I had the baby, and three months later he returned and came and saw me and Austin. He brought me presents back from China and things seemed ok. He wanted a DNA test, so we got one done, and when it came back that he was the father (already knew it was) he decided that he didn't want anything to do with us. Gave me a chunck of money and said Adios. Fast forward to today. I'm kinda broke, and I sent him an email today asking for some money to help me until I start getting paychecks from work. I've never asked him for anything at all, mind you. So here I am patiently waiting a reply, but I think I already know what he is going to say. I guess what I am asking here, is if he refuses to give me a little money (all im asking for is 200 bucks) should I take the next step and try to force him to? I have never wanted the courts involved in my life, cause I don't have the patience for this kind of stuff, but it would help if he gave me a little something every now and then.  Blargh.  
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I haven't waited to fall on hard times. I have been on hard times my whole freakin life.
 My son has money in the bank for HIM that I cant touch. It's something to start his college. My son has everything he needs, I make sure of that. I will go without, no problems. |
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So my sons father and I were dating, became great friends. I wound up prego and he left for a year to go to school in china. I had the baby, and three months later he returned and came and saw me and Austin. He brought me presents back from China and things seemed ok. He wanted a DNA test, so we got one done, and when it came back that he was the father (already knew it was) he decided that he didn't want anything to do with us. Gave me a chunck of money and said Adios. Fast forward to today. I'm kinda broke, and I sent him an email today asking for some money to help me until I start getting paychecks from work. I've never asked him for anything at all, mind you. So here I am patiently waiting a reply, but I think I already know what he is going to say. I guess what I am asking here, is if he refuses to give me a little money (all im asking for is 200 bucks) should I take the next step and try to force him to? I have never wanted the courts involved in my life, cause I don't have the patience for this kind of stuff, but it would help if he gave me a little something every now and then. Blargh. It's not about what you want, it's about what's best for your child. Get the money either way. Your child needs clothes on his back and food in his stomache.
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It's not about what you want, it's about what's best for your child. Get the money either way. Your child needs clothes on his back and food in his stomache. Yes, and she clearly said he gets that. She will do the best thing, I have no worries there (nor should you). But I doubt she would let her son go without, ever. |
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Thanks Lilith. My son will never go without.
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Thanks Lilith. My son will never go without. You are welcome.... I actually read the thread, of course. And know how much you adore that little guy.
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i say yes.your child deserves what i feel is owed to the child. I agree with Tina. The child is entitled to support from both parents. |
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ok this is from a single dad..take it for what its worth....I have full custody of my kids she gets them when she wants,,,,,but I'm the stable parent for mine so they are with me the majority of the time...I make more money than she does , but I still pay her....I want my kids to be taken care of ...this wasnt their fault.....should he pay ..HELLO YEA DARLIN'.....tell him to be a man and let the petty crap go and take care of his child.......;
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I spent eleven years trying to raise my three kids on my own without asking for child support because I was being stubborn. It's not worth it. Go get child support so you could take care of your son. The money is owed to him and don't feel guilty. Plus, you don't need the stress. Be strong and keep your chin up.
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You need to do what need to do for your child's sake. You don't need the stress of being a single mom trying to scrape by. The father of your son is half responsible for him at least money wise. If he isn't supporting in any other way, then he should at least be helping you with money part.
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If you still live in Texas you can go online to the Attorney General of Texas's website and you can file for child support there. First they'll prove he's the father, and then go from there. That way you don't have to throw money at a lawyer or pay court fees. This doesn't exactly help you NOW when you need the money, but it will establish payments until your kiddo is 18. This way sorta takes the blame off of you. YOU aren't asking him for money, the government is simply requiring him to pay what is due for aiding in creating the child.
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