Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend, just as I've
done.

I don't care if you lick windows, interfere with farm animals, vote
liberal or occasionally **** yourself.....

You hang in there sunshine, you're ****ing special!

my favorite is simply.
conserve water...shower with a friend.

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE
A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL
BROTHEL. THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO
HER MANAGER, "GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL
IN
EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY
GIRLS ON
THEM. THEY WON'T EVEN KNOW THE DIFFERENCE." THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS
TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS
THEY
ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, "YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS
DEAD!"
"DEAD?" SAYS HIS FRIEND, "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" "WELL, SHE NEVER
MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER." HIS FRIEND SAYS,
"I
THINK
MINE WAS A WITCH." "A WITCH, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" "WELL, I
WAS
MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE
BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW."

THIS IS THE MOST INTERESTING THREAD IN A LONG TIME , THANX PURPLECAT,

I'M LISTENING TO THAT DURAN DURAN SONG " GIRLS ON FILM "

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's
the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe
it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the
first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup
of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began
as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that
life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it:

I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio
in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I
came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a
golden voice.

You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting
business. He was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about
"a
thousand marbles."

I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say.

"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure
they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and
your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to
work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad
you missed your daughter's "dance recital" he continued. "Let me tell
you something that has helped me keep my own priorities."

And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles.

"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average
person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some
live
less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years."

"Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is
the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire
lifetime.Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.

It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this
in any detail", he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over
twenty-eight hundred Saturdays." "I got to thinking that if I lived to
be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy.

So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I
ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles.
I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container
right here in the shack next to my gear."

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's
the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe
it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the
first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup
of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began
as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that
life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it:

I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio
in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I
came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a
golden voice.

You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting
business. He was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about
"a
thousand marbles."

I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say.

"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure
they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and
your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to
work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad
you missed your daughter's "dance recital" he continued. "Let me tell
you something that has helped me keep my own priorities."

And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles.

"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average
person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some
live
less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years."

"Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is
the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire
lifetime.Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.

It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this
in any detail", he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over
twenty-eight hundred Saturdays." "I got to thinking that if I lived to
be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy.

So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I
ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles.
I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container
right here in the shack next to my gear."

"Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it
away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on
the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching
your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities
straight."

"Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take
my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last
marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next
Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing
we can all use is a little more time."

"It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your
family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75
Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!"

You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off.
I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on
the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few
hams to work on the next club newsletter.

Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon honey,
I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast." " What brought this on?" she
asked with a smile.

"Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a
Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy
store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles...

A friend sent this to me, so I to you, my friend.

And so, as one smart bear once said..."If you live to be a hundred, I
want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live
without you."

- Winnie the Pooh.

Take Care

ooh, that made me tear up. thank u purple.

whoa--enjoyed that story--thanx

nice purple!!

Very nice Purple. Now I gotta go out and buy some marbles.

bleh it made me cry..I need marbles too Karma

cool purple

the older i get the more i like my pooh!

i have lost my marbles..........gonna go buy some more!!

Wouldn't it be pretty doggone wonderful, if this caught on, all over
The country?


"GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO CANADA."


"Press "1" if you speak English."


"Press "2" to disconnect until you can"

Pardon. Je n'ai pas compris.

oops, I think you hurt a frenchies feelings Purple!
LOL karma!
How does that work in canada with 2 languages anyway!

je ne parls pas francais !! what can I say!! sorry Karma ,, just humour
, you know there are OTHERS this is actually directed at in the joke
....lol ;}

I liked the marble thing purple Horray for Winnie the Pooh! Thanks for
sharing it with us