I remember hearing somewhere that over 50% of people have suffered some form of sexual abuse.

I can’t help but wonder precisely how sexual abuse is defined.

When I was growing up I was taught that sex is dirty, bad, even a sin in the eyes of God.

Seems to me that’s a form of sexual abuse right there.

I’m not joking either, because if a person is made to feel guilty about sex, that’s pretty abusive.

Having been taught that sex was ‘ungodly’ did indeed cause me to have totally unwarranted and negative feelings associated with sex. It caused me to have sexual inhibitions. As far as I’m concerned that was most certainly sexual abuse.

Whether that qualifies as a legitimate act of sexual abuse I have no idea. The only thing I know is that it had detrimental affects on me, and as far as I’m concerned that qualifies as abuse whether it fits into anyone’s criteria or not.

Thanks abra. The abuse I was referring to was when a woman who is supposed to be protecting a young boy that cannot protect himself and comes into the bathroom while you are bathing to "help you get clean" and I don't want to go into it further but that is sexual abuse. I do understand what you are saying thouh. Thanks man. Gotta get to bed. Hard day tomorrow. Tired and it has been a rough evening.

I am not a professional on the subject but it sounds like some form of abuse - intentional or unintentional. I'm sorry that you had to hear such things as a child.

I have an Uncle (married my Aunt) that was sexually abused by the male caretaker of his foster family. I don't know how much is a coincidence but he has had severe problems with depression -shock treatment and institutionalized. He is on
disability for it. And he divorced my Aunt to be with a man.

I KNOW you're not joking - try to imagine growing up in the world of the 60's and 70's and being a homosexual! Anger, no, RAGE is what comes of that. Trust is another side effect.

And actually, just recently I checked with the APA, current statistics (if you trust such things) indicate that 1 in 10 children are molested/sexually abused.

Sexual abuse does not have to be physical, it can be mental as well. But I think only physical was presented in the statistics.

I think it happened in the reverse for me. The verbal stuff came later, like the "nice butt" comments and a pat on the butt as she walked by when I was doing my chores (later in my early teens). I would think that happens first for the majority? Back in the early seventies who could I tell? The social worker was never alone with me or my brothers. They had one phone by the kitchen. It's not like I could say "hey can I have the number so I can call in to report you" followed by my thought of what would happen to me if they didn't believe me? For a number of reasons you put it in the back of your mind. Being pulled from your home with your brothers and having to live with strangers in a new town is traumatic for a child. Threatening that child by saying he could be separated from his brothers and put in another home in some other county was just another fear that kept it all under the rug. Obviously it runs deeper than the snapshot you see here. I started this thread to hear how others have dealt with similar issues. I did seek counseling in my 30's for almost a year. Wasted money? Even at this age I try to convince myself that it never happened. That doesn't work though. The issues of abandonment, abuse, etc., come out in self protective measures like anger,and others which as a child kept people away from you. If you don't allow them to get too close to you, you can't be hurt when they leave. It is a catch 22. You are fearful of abandonment yet you push away.

Abra, this is why I was not only an atheist but I hated God and ANYTHING to do with religion. For an adult to claim to be a Christian and drag us to church each week where she put on her righteous mask was sickening to me. I was even confirmed in the Lutheran church just because "I was supposed to be". Since the age of 32 I can say that my faith is as real as the sun rising. And oddly,the sun is rising. I gotta get to work.

My home life was good.I experienced this as an adult in a physically, mentally, and sexually abusive relationship with my daughter's father. It was his way of breaking me down to keep me. I finally got away from him, but his damage stays with me.