As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember

~ Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called, "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

~ The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

~ My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.

~ The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

~ I hate sex in the movies......
Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chi lled the mood.

~ Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

~ It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable now, of course, there's shipping and handling too.

~ A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

~ My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

~ A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

~ My neighbor was bitten by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

~ Definition of a teenager?
God's punishment...for enjoying sex!

~ As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way!