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How about the man gives birth, breastfeeds, cooks cleans, takes care of the baby? Staying home is not enough for a man to take my place. It's easier to go out and work, I know I've done it all, I'm only saying a man should do something for his child and the mother of his child. While I take care of all unpaid work he should get paid work, it's not rocket science to see it's more than fair for him. You made this bed....you've got to lie in it! You chose this guy, you chose to have a child with him, you chose to stay on. If you don't want this, then do something....not whine! And if you have started to do something about it, good... but don't whine. Your child needs a loving and strong mom....which I have no doubt you are. A lot of us women are single mothers. We coped in the best way we could because we are mothers. And likewise, for the single fathers when the mothers are absent for whatever reasons. Not all mothers are good, and not all fathers are either.......some are, some are not! |
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Being a mom is an occupation. You are very disrespectful about that, maybe if you have a child one day you will understand how much work it is compared to your career. Whatever other jobs I do, I don't call it my occupation because for me being a mom is more important than any other job I've ever done or will ever do. I think you should avoid having children. Also, there is nothing disrespectful with viewing a man as the main provider when there are children. Your views are skewed not mine. Estelle, again I beg to disagree with you.... you seem to have a really warped (or skewed) outlook on what makes a wife and/or mother. No, I don't. Being a full time or part time mother is not an occupation. It is a commitment. Mingle2 asks for an 'occupation' so I filled it in as honestly as I could (not so some jerks could insult me), it's not my preferred word for being a mother, but complain to Mingle2 not me. And you're wrong, motherhood is definitely an occupation, most often it is overtime work. An occupation is where you are paid to do a job, and for that, you would have to have been a 'surrogate mother' to have your baby, and then have that baby taken away from you, because you would have been commissioned to do just that....bear that child. Fine. I will educate you about the definition of the word occupation (also hope 'Blondie' reads this...by the way she is actually a brunette why don't you pick on her for misrepresenting her hair color?) Here is the definition for you: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/occupation Notice 'stay-at-home mom' is used as an example of an occupation. When you have a child, whether it is within or without a marriage, you made a commitment to that child that you bore to provide, care and protect him/her as your offspring. The father (you forgot about him) also has a commitment to the child, in most cases this means he does most if not all of the providing. This is especially true when the children are very young as in my case. As a mother by nature....it should come instinctively, without ulterior motives.... a mother will go thru' a lot just to do that, without looking for gains. Again. Read above. This is not about looking for gains and ulterior motives, it's about the father of the child being held accountable by the mother of the child which I instinctively protect. When the man/husband/partner/absent father fails to provide for whatever reasons, a mother will find her own ways to provide without complains.....without whining, without looking for praises/rewards, because she is the mother. The man can fail to provide but the woman can't complain, that is very double standard of you to say. Thanks. No comments....... you bash yourself with your shallow words! |
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Topic:
single parents of teens!@#$%
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I didn't have problems with my older 3 kids when they were in their teens ..... but my youngest, a boy now 15, really really tests my patience and is the typical teenage 'rebellion'. But then again, it could be due to the single parent situation I'm now facing.....so, I have been told.
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TITLE THREAD: If anyone should be paid to get married, its the man!!!!!!!
ANSWER : MOVE TO INDIA! But then again, we wonder why the men from India wants to get out of there????? |
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It would appear that misty has some competition  You know justfun....from the very first few posts of the OP, I would have sworn it was red's clone! |
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Topic:
Zee's Pub! - part 6
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 OK........ where do we start? |
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Being a mom is an occupation. You are very disrespectful about that, maybe if you have a child one day you will understand how much work it is compared to your career. Whatever other jobs I do, I don't call it my occupation because for me being a mom is more important than any other job I've ever done or will ever do. I think you should avoid having children. Also, there is nothing disrespectful with viewing a man as the main provider when there are children. Your views are skewed not mine. Estelle, again I beg to disagree with you.... you seem to have a really warped (or skewed) outlook on what makes a wife and/or mother. Being a full time or part time mother is not an occupation. It is a commitment. An occupation is where you are paid to do a job, and for that, you would have to have been a 'surrogate mother' to have your baby, and then have that baby taken away from you, because you would have been commissioned to do just that....bear that child. When you have a child, whether it is within or without a marriage, you made a commitment to that child that you bore to provide, care and protect him/her as your offspring. As a mother by nature....it should come instinctively, without ulterior motives.... a mother will go thru' a lot just to do that, without looking for gains. When the man/husband/partner/absent father fails to provide for whatever reasons, a mother will find her own ways to provide without complains.....without whining, without looking for praises/rewards, because she is the mother. |
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In many cultures a woman's parents were paid to seal the marriage deal, shouldn't women be paid today for this marriage deal? Estelle, in the many cultures that you are referring to where the brides or the brides parents were paid to, it came about due to various circumstances. For Muslims, some dowries are fixed by the state religious departments, and are not a good practice as it has caused young couples to have to borrow money to finance the marriage. So, the poor young couples were already in debt from the onset of the marriage. For the Chinese, the practice of dowries is still practiced as it is steeped in tradition. But the amount is negotiated, and in some circumstances differs depending on the financial capabilities of the groom and his family, and the popularity of the bride as a 'catch' in society. But in modern times, it is as a respect to the brides family for bringing up the bride and also to compensate for their expenses for the wedding. The brides are normally provided a trousseau by her family partly funded from the dowry money. For the Hindus/Indians, it is the complete reverse where the groom is paid to marry the bride, and in most cases the marriages are 'arrange marriages' and this practice is banned, but still practiced. It is a most 'unhealthy' practice as 'dowry related killings of the bride' is still heard of. The statement "shouldn't women be paid today for this marriage deal?" is so derogatory and disrespectful for women..... it is in the line of 'brides for sale'! Estelle, don't even go into this cos' you are bashing yourself with this stand, and bringing the women down with you. I would like to think that when a man loves me for who I am, he would want to buy me things and provide for the financial aspects of a marriage, rather than 'buying' me as a bride. |
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Topic:
urgent prayer request
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Prayers for your BIL, your sister and family..... and for you, Yellowrose!
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Topic:
Zee's Pub! - part 6
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So so sorry to hear of this! But take care of your health first.
I think you weren't meant to carry out that work, so, it took care of it by going this course. My prayers are with you that you get well soon, and the situation will also get better for you in all aspects.
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I wouldn't give up anything now. I don't plan on falling in love again anyway. It's overrated.   2Kids...... yeah it is! But it is fine for us to say "I don't want to" but we can't stop it if it comes knocking, and we can't stop another person from 'falling for you'! There...... you may not love me, but I love you anyway! 
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Topic:
Everything Chinese
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chinese inventions and discoveries Gunpowder Compass Paper Pasta(noodle) Wheelbarrow Seismograph Alcohol Kites Hang Gliders Silk Abacus name a few more...  Some of those things were invented and used by the Chinese hundreds of years before it reached the west! But it has been improved on by the west, which is a good thing anyway. |
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Edited by
Amelinng
on
Sun 04/26/15 07:46 PM
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I would hope that the person would want to be a better man for me. He would do anything to please me, as I would to please him. Giving up vices and addictions and bad habits to please your mate would also make you a healthier and better person. You are improving on each other. Giving up something which gives you pleasure, like a hobby or toy collection, but it displeases your spouse, is self-sabotage. The person is selfish and doesn't love you for making you do that. I would never make my man give up something which made him happy, as long as it wasn't destructive, just to please me. So it all depends. This.....  I think Mai said it...... I would not want someone to give up something they love if it is 'not destructive'....that is so so true! If you loved reading books, I would never ask you to give that up..... but if you love to drink to the point of addiction, I would encourage you to reduce or give up.....maybe even be forceful about it. And to have someone love you enough to want to please you and give up something they love....... hmmmmm!! |
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I have question for anyone who say they won't give up nothing for their lover unless they want too,lets all remember there's two sides,what if they have given up alot for you,or there is something you want them to really give up,keep in mind you love them ,would you do it then? If i truly loved them, they wouldn't have given up anything for me, because i wouldn't ask them too. I would never say never because I did give up a lot, even relocated from my family home to another state when I got married. And giving up smoking and drinking was something I did too.....I never did pick up smoking again, but I like drinking with my family and some buddies whenever we get together. And if I should ever meet someone to even feel I could love, I would be more cautious now than I was before in giving up everything, or somethings that I am comfortable or gotten used to. I doubt if I would relocate permanently, more like having 2 homes would be great, alternate, as my kids are still staying with me, and making the best of both worlds. I would look more into both getting to keep what they love and compromising on other aspects.........if you love someone enough, you would want to reach an agreement on anything just to make it work to be together. |
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Topic:
Everything Chinese
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"The Chinese farmer" [Source: 'Unknown'] There is a Chinese story of an old farmer who had an old horse for tilling his fields. One day the horse escaped into the hills and, when all the farmer's neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, 'Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?' A week later the horse returned with a herd of wild horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, 'Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?' Then, when the farmer's son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck. Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, 'Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?' Some weeks later the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer's son with his broken leg they let him off. Now was that good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?  It is true that sometimes what we conceive as bad luck is actually a blessing in disguise. So, when something unfortunate happens, just think of it as something that we need to face on our journey thru' this earth and it was meant to be part of the puzzle. Everything that happens has its place somewhere along this path...... and by adopting this mindset, you will be able to face anything that life throws at you. |
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Yups..... good to have you back! And while you are back, is the bar and breakfast joint going to be reopened as well....... I'm hungry and could do with a drink!  No............gotta concentrate on making some real money, can't get very far on mingle bucks   (slinking off to get some real food) aww now, don't make me feel bad, least I can do is bring you a drink..............what will ya have cutie Nah...... I understand! Thanks for the offer, and go make some real bucks.....best wishes on your business. It is Sunday morning here and I need some real food...... ciao! |
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Yups..... good to have you back! And while you are back, is the bar and breakfast joint going to be reopened as well....... I'm hungry and could do with a drink! No............gotta concentrate on making some real money, can't get very far on mingle bucks (slinking off to get some real food) |
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Yups..... good to have you back!
And while you are back, is the bar and breakfast joint going to be reopened as well....... I'm hungry and could do with a drink!
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Topic:
Zee's Pub! - part 6
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sorry haven't been in.. and not staying long.. was rushed to the hospital last week.. but I'll live.. you lucky sods love'n miss you all.. hopefully back to my state of normal soon Oh dear....... hope it is nothing serious and you will be all ok soon! Take care, Zee.. 
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Topic:
Everything Chinese
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NO MSG !!! LOL........yes, MSG in chinese food is common! However, I have never bought a single pack of that and don't use it in my cooking at all. FYI: Major ingredients used in the manufacture of MSG include corn, sugar cane or tapioca. In the U.S. “AJI-NO-MOTO” is made from corn through fermentation. The ones we have here are from Thailand and made from tapioca, and sometimes also referred to as 'umami'. 
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