ROFLMAO

Fall Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Monday, Oct 30, 2007

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS,
CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4
weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The
Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for
3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours
beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday
7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at
7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be
determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation
and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2
hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral
Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights;
Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.



Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to
the survivors.

Happy Birthday!!

Welcome to JSH!

Welcome to JSH!

Welcome to JSH!

Welcome to JSH!

Welcome to JSH!

Welcome to JSH!

I cant & don't tolerate liars

A very elderly gentleman in his mid-nineties, very well-dressed, hair
well-groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel and smelling
slightly of aftershave, presenting a well-looked after image, walks into
an upscale ****tail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly-looking
lady, in her mid-eighties.

The gentleman walks over, sits alongside her, orders a drink, takes a
sip, turns to her and says, "So, tell me. Do I come here often?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
During a checkup, their doctor tells them that they're physically okay,
but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
"Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?", he asks.

"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

"Sure."

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?", she
asks.

"No, I can remember it."

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it
down, so's not to forget it?"

He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries."

"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget all that, so
maybe you should write it down?"

Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down. I can remember it!
Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I got it, for goodness
sake!" Then he toddles into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands
his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment.

"Where's my toast?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three old guys are out walking.

First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"

Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"

Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

Welcome to JSH from frigid Kansas!!! Brrrr it's cold today!

Welcome to JSH!

Happy Birthday!!

Who am I gonna get caulking advice from now??

Welcome to JSH!