I played in traffic once....
The light was red...

Lookie, lookie.... I see a lurker, methinks.....

Well, saddle me up and call me Patches Grafton...... Weird.... Sounds
not porn-starish, but maybe a muppet plastic surgeon?????
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Patches.... Graft-on.....
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Get it?

Then maybe it could be a really bad porn star name....

I want a smart, witty, uninhibited woman to just make me her friend....

Not if they play the Calgary Flames, they aren't!!!!

Well, gee.... How do I get to be the prize????

LOL!~!!

You can crank on me with a pillow anytime, purplecat!

I'm up... In fact I just got home not too long ago. Was out video taping
a sports-entertainment event and recording commentary. Now I am home,
just ate, and about ready for bed... Anyone left up?

17)Let me explain once more..........Wai Yu So Dum

Thanks!

That little ditty won me Poet of the Year.

To look way up high
At the clouds in the distance
Afloat upon the midnight sky
And see the lights Of the city,
Stretching from so far and wide,
Is a burning taste so sweet:
Filling me with a joy I cannot hide.

A sight so full of beauty, tis the prettiest I know --
A promise of reacquaintance:
Lasting friendships amongst the glow.
A chance to be together again with family and friends --
All the dear ones I love most.
That tingle of excitement never ends.

For it is not just the promise of things soon to be,
Yet so much more than rekindled memory:
More than just a simple guarantee
Of the best times yet to come
And the everlasting dreams
Of events said and done.

It is a love affair I look upon
When I see that horizon's glow:
A midnight sky prettier than the sun
Stretching further than sunsets go.
No matter where I roam, I feel no fear
For I know I am returning
The moment I see the lights of home.

LOL.... This is not my personal shot at all Kentuckians... Well not All
of you..... :-D

Kentuckey redneck Billy-Joe was getting married and the whole clan was
thrilled he decided to settle down and get to work on making babies.

The wedding day came and went, everyone had a grand old time at the
reception, little Jim-Bob snuck too much moonshine and wound up
re-filling the empty casserole dish, if you get the drift...

The bride and groom took off in his pick-up truck (extended cab) and
headed off for their honeymoon, which was supposed to last for 10 days.
However... Billy-Joe returned home not three full days later to his Pa's
house. The only thing he had with him was his pick-up and his "suitcase"
(plastic garbage bag) full of clothes. His blushing bride was nowhere to
be seen.

"Billy-Joe, y'all's 'posed to be on your honeymoon. What in Sam Hill are
you doin' back here so soon, and where's yer new wife?" his father asked
him.

"Well, Pa," answered Billy, "Thangs was goin' great 'n all, right up
till the weddin' night, if ya know whut I mean."

"What happ'n, son?"

"Well, Pa, I found out Bobby-Sue was... Well, Pa, she was a virgin!"

His Pa thought about that for a moment, then he said to Billy-Joe...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Y'all did the right thang, son. If'n she ain't good enough for her
family, she ain't good 'nuff for ours!"

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are THE seven
dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey Leads the pack.

"Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"

Dopey asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in
Rome?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and
answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns
back "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No,
Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again,
Dopey turns around and silences them, with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back and says, "Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere
in the world?"

"I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding
the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting......
"Dopey f**ked a penguin!"......
"Dopey f**ked a penguin!"......

JASON SAID "hey starchild and cat owner your stupid there wouldnt be
hardly any
animals in ths country if it were not for the hunters who pay for the
realse of non existent animals in states all a cross
this country. ted nugent has donated millons to these efforts and if you
would like your more than welcome to try to use your buck shot on me any
time but i will bet you it goes the other way around.

ps cat owner shut up or i will break yor ****ing jaw "

firstly, JASON, if you want to talk to me, learn to speak proper english
or get someone who can translate moron to english on a keyboard. Second,
I see how easy it is to be a tough guy on the internet behind a screen.
I'm shaking.... NOT.

I personally don't give a rat's ass if you hunt or not. I've hunted. not
a big deal. I don't like deer meat, which happens to be the #1-hunted
for game meat. I made an off-the-cuff statement that was less than
serious, and kinda funny. As I can see by your picture, tough guy, you
do hunt, and with a bow and arrow, so good on ya. I just hope you follow
the proper set of nature and use every single part of what you kill that
you can.

You should know, being from the "Excited States Of America", that there
is a thing called freedom of speech. I can say whatever the f*ck I want,
so can starchild. If you can't handle that, move to Cuba, or better yet,
China.

Seriously.... Before YOU call someone stupid, invest in spell-check.
After all, nothing says INBRED like bad grammer and incoherent typing
when one decides to question the intelligence level of another....

as far as breaking my ****ing jaw... Well, son, you're gonna need a
longer arm for one, and two, remember no matter how bad you are, there's
always someone badder.... Nitwit.

He hunts with a bow and arrow. I heard him once say it was more
sporting.... I keep hearing Bambi say, "Not for me, you log-haired
p.r.i.c.k.!"

same goes for you, too, TxsGal3333.

hey, heatherrae and baby_gurl, you can BOTH email me ANYTIME :-D

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious
Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.
Oh, I just couldn't.
No one wants to hear me sing.
Sorry I'm being such a jackass.