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Topic:
Eve's side of the story
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My sister told me this one, so I thought I'd pass it on.
----------------- Eve's side of the story After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" enquired God. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve. And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc.......she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it. "That is a fair point," replied God, " But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes. Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden . "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?" "Just fantastic," she replied, " But for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The hen has a rooster and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone." God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see............where did I put that useless tit? |
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party!
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lime
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Short bus
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ok I wanna change my answer, I turned 40 last week
My Mrs Right: Decent heart beat Can stand up right Doesn't need help wiping her own arse. Smiles every once in a while, at least twice a day Likes sex (awake preferrably) Can remember my name, and no its not "OH GOD" but close    
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damn I'm hungry now to :(
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Topic:
Jobs....
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No, but my brother was a mechanic at Midas for a while. Hes at the Dodge dealership now. Think he worked at Midas 2 years ago before he left. Roberts body shop is well known though. Alot of race cars that run here are sponsored by them or was. The track is looking for a new owner now. Small world lol |
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Topic:
Jobs....
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No, but my brother was a mechanic at Midas for a while. Hes at the Dodge dealership now. Think he worked at Midas 2 years ago before he left. Roberts body shop is well known though. Alot of race cars that run here are sponsored by them or was. The track is looking for a new owner now. |
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Topic:
Jobs....
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No, but my brother was a mechanic at Midas for a while.
Hes at the Dodge dealership now. |
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Topic:
Jobs....
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truck driver 15 hours a day, 5 days a week Kenworth and Volvo parts clerk Auto paint and body during the day, restaurant at night Ran a jack hammer 8 hours a day at the Conoco Refinery, installed pipeline and road construction Installed the plumbing and air conditioning at the new Sears addon at the mall IT Technician - installing computers at Health South Poured concrete at Vance Air Force base for 5 years on the Flight line Forklift operator Web design & Graphics, Software programming and server admin Jack of all trades Off and on for the last 30 years. 
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Topic:
Jobs....
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truck driver 15 hours a day, 5 days a week
Kenworth and Volvo parts clerk Auto paint and body during the day, restaurant at night Ran a jack hammer 8 hours a day at the Conoco Refinery, installed pipeline and road construction Installed the plumbing and air conditioning at the new Sears addon at the mall IT Technician - installing computers at Health South Poured concrete at Vance Air Force base for 5 years on the Flight line Forklift operator Web design & Graphics, Software programming and server admin Jack of all trades |
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Topic:
Kiss Or Run - part 11
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My Mrs Right:
30 - 45 years old Looks great in a tank top and shorts Loves spending time in the backyard with the kids Says she loves fishing, but squirms when baiting a hook Pretends to like things I like, even though she has no clue Can plan things without asking for my approval Takes time to show affection, even if shes running late Looks great in cheap sunglasses Likes dancing with me in her socks, on the kitchen floor Knows that a man needs man things, but the most important thing is his woman by his side, through thick and thin. Not affraid to get dirty but cleans up nice Last but not least, shes gotta have cute toes lol Sounds corny I know...but you asked. |
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Damn, I wonder what tomorrow will bring
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Topic:
Spit or swallow
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You have prepared a dinner for two and your date brings the wine... You love your date more that words can quantify... You take the bottle and proceed to take the screw cap off... You pour two 1/2 glasses then take a sip... You do not want to offend your date but the wine is repulsive! What do you do Throw her up on the table and take her! (when you do it, spill the bottle) She won't give a rats (_!_) what happened to the wine. Trust me lol |
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Topic:
No choice left.
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let this be a lesson for all the folks out there, don`t have kids with someone until after you have established a loving, respectful relationship. double up on the ol contraceptives But I had children for the same reason most people do, by accident. Not that I would change anything, my little peanut is the light of my life. Step back, regroup, see a councelor to see if things can be fixed between you. If not, then your kids are your kids. Your relationship status, doesn't change that fact. Good luck. |
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Topic:
Do you act on
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I give them space and hope for the best.
I'm not a negative person, so my first thought is always something positive. |
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xSGLZd9Vg4
Tim McGraw - Live like you were dying Heart attack at 35 had something to do with it. |
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June 8th, 1970
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