Sigma Chi

Thanks alot Water

The reason why I don't post much on here is because of some rude comments made on my first one. But I just shook it off, but I am still cautious. I guess I am just like everyone else, I don't want to be embarrassed by any, and since everyone seems to read these posts, it makes it even harder to want to post again. But I guess there will always be some who find it amusing to belittle others for the sake to make themselves look better.

1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big **** or a good memory. I can't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.......

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ? A: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives !!!

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office for his annual physical. After the physical, the Doctor asked him to get some sperm for testing.. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this home and bring back some semen tomorrow."
The Old Man went home and tried with his right and left hand with no results. The Old man than called his wife in to help him. She tried and tried with the same results.
The Wife then suggested they ask the Young/Pretty lady that lived next door. They both went next Door and asked the young girl, who said she would be happy to help. She also tried and tried with the same results.
The next day the 85-year-old man went back to the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the young lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" to help you get Sperm.
The old man replied, No we asked her to help us open the damn Jar. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open.

I grew up around that area, always something weird going on. Now the main street is covered in alien shops lol.

mostly positive

who would need clothes, i got my suntan oil haha, besides id be by myself right?

id take lots of water, suntan oil, and fishing gear!

I got nervous myself, never had that many compliments in one night

Me as well!

I was so sure this was going to be negative, glad I clicked in!

I've had some try to scam me out of money!

I Haven't, just because I've never been asked out by a woman before!

WAVES

I take red marine algae for my outbreaks. It works great and is inexpensive.

It wouldnt me, sometime the practice makes the perfect baby!

in sickness and whatever the other is, health maybe? If two people are together, they should go thru the good and the bad if its a strong relationship

ill get the baby oil and a 6-pack of water

sounds great to me