Community > Posts By > massachusetts

 
massachusetts's photo
Mon 09/01/08 10:59 PM
wheres mine!!!

massachusetts's photo
Mon 09/01/08 10:51 PM


Jack woke up with a killer hangover after attending his firm's Party.

He didn't even remember how he got home. It's 8.30. What day is it?
Thursday. His wife must have gone to work.

As he struggled into consciousness through the fog of a pounding headache,
his stomach plummeted as he wondered what the hell he did last night.
He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a couple
of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them,
a little vase of sweet peas, freshly picked from the garden.
He sat up. The bedroom was clean and tidy, - there was no trail of
drunkenly abandoned clothes, fresh air was coming in through the window and
all was serene. He stumbled to the bathroom, also pristine, and, squinting
gingerly into the mirror, saw that he had a black eye. This was not a good
sign, but no memories were returning.

As he concentrated hard on getting the world into focus, he saw a post-it
note stuck on the corner of the mirror. It was written in red, with little
hearts on it and a kiss from his wife.

“I'll ring your office and tell them you won't be in today. Breakfast is
in the oven. Try to eat something and go back to bed for the morning.
There's snooker on TV this afternoon. Take it easy today, hope your eye
doesn't hurt too much. See you tonight. I love you, darling! Love,
Jillian. X”

He stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the newspaper. His teenaged son was sitting at the
table, eating.

Jack, bracing himself, asked his son what happened the previous night.

“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell
over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and
got that black eye when you ran into the door.”

Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order, aspirins by the bed, a nice note from Mum and breakfast waiting for me?”

His son replied, “Oh THAT!... Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she
tried to take your trousers off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone you slapper,I'm married!!”
Broken Coffee Table $250
Hot Breakfast $3.50, Two Aspirins 20c
Saying the right thing, at the right time......PRICELESS




Priceless laugh laugh laugh

massachusetts's photo
Mon 09/01/08 10:39 PM
nice plane

massachusetts's photo
Mon 09/01/08 04:22 PM
pillsbury doughboy

massachusetts's photo
Mon 09/01/08 01:23 AM
smokin boston

massachusetts's photo
Mon 09/01/08 01:18 AM
I wear my sunglasses at night

massachusetts's photo
Mon 09/01/08 01:09 AM

right now





roxette-joyride


Thanks for making interested in listening to that :angry:

lol

massachusetts's photo
Mon 09/01/08 12:59 AM
take off your prosthetic nose ?

massachusetts's photo
Mon 09/01/08 12:56 AM

...Noway!

Having an infection of sorts that would produce massive amounts of snot would be the worst.slaphead
There is no getting away from a boogerill


laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

massachusetts's photo
Mon 09/01/08 12:40 AM

show off your dungeon full of sex toys



yeah that would do it:smile:

massachusetts's photo
Mon 09/01/08 12:34 AM
where does it hurt?laugh

massachusetts's photo
Sun 08/31/08 09:50 PM
any australians online??

massachusetts's photo
Sun 08/31/08 09:37 PM
Edited by massachusetts on Sun 08/31/08 09:38 PM
Whats your favorite? if not all lollaugh

massachusetts's photo
Sun 08/31/08 09:19 PM
HELLO bizzy bee have a lot of fun!

massachusetts's photo
Sun 08/31/08 08:55 PM
Its like new years eve for the new mingle

massachusetts's photo
Sun 08/31/08 08:18 PM


Starkle, starkle, little twink,
Who the hell you are I think.
I’m not under what they call
The alcofluence of incohol.

I’m not drunk as thinkle peep,
I’m just a little slort of sheep.
Tee martoonis make a guy
Fool so feelish, don’t know why.

Rally don’t know who’s me yet
The drunker I stay the longer I get
So just one more to full my cup,
I’ve all day sober to Sunday up!




WTF !!!!
laugh laugh laugh laugh drinker drinker drinker drinker




great laugh

massachusetts's photo
Sun 08/31/08 08:13 PM


flowerforyou Is that a mirror in your pocket?flowerforyou



love Because I can see myself in youlove

devil come here devil


hahahahahhahlaugh

massachusetts's photo
Sun 08/31/08 07:44 PM

Dude! sick I'm eating here!!!ill

lollaugh

massachusetts's photo
Sun 08/31/08 07:18 PM
Edited by massachusetts on Sun 08/31/08 07:20 PM
Wow learn something new every day thanks. they have this horrible statue in the boston park look it up where the ppl in battle are all dead and tied straight up with a pole on thier horses and they are walking back to thier camp. The poor guy who lived across the street from it well this is my assumption lit his house on fire so he could move but it is a really creepy statue.

massachusetts's photo
Sun 08/31/08 07:15 PM
lasagna!!!!!

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