The only answer to a civilized world if honesty and real truth are exercized is Jesus. Regardless what you decide to believe the truth will remain. When its all said and done and we take our last breath those with or without Christ will face the truth.

words carreening , dejected forcibly, anger surfacing wanting wrongs to be justifide
denial rears her ugly face only to be slapped away
questions with never the right answers flowing like rushing waters
the mirror contiues to distort and lie
shapes that should be aren't, shapes that aren't are
the smoke swirled upwards to dissapear as if it never was. was it?
truth can't be where truth is not allowed
justification ...where are you?
do the way i want or need or demand
tears , anger guilt... but no change.
always the same till the end. desires hot and chilled to the bone.
no feeling. desires.wishes, wants , screams from within
escaping into nothing but emptiness
the valley has been long and hard. the mountain snows bekon.
calling , carressing, soothing the soul
cooling the rage that struggles to consume
peace, tranquility, joy, happiness in being alone

I SOUGHT COMFORT IN TO BUSY PLACES, LIVES RUNNING ASTRAY
PASSING SHAPE AMONGST THE SKYLINE NOTHING MORE , NOTHING LESS
WASN'T SEEN, NOR HEARD, NOR WANTED, MERE CLAY
ALONE

A PICTURE OF DISGUST, TROUBLING AT THE LEAST TO SAY
WHO KNOWS, NOT I, LOOKING BUT NEVER SEEING
ANOTHER CIGARETTE GROUND OUT, SMOKE SWIRLING AWAY
DETACHED

KICKS AGAINST THE COLD CONCRETE WALL, GESTURE OF LIFE
SPINS, HEADS THE OPPOSITE WAY NOT KNOWING WHERE
MIND PROCESSING MULTIPLES, MOSTLY STRIFE
HOPELESS

CROSSWALK MEETING ,EYES LOST IN PASSAGES OF YESTERYEAR
TURNED UP COLLAR WARDING OFF NOT THE COLD BUT STARES
DEAD MAN WALKING, RUNNING, CHASES GHOSTS OF FEARS
FRUSTRATED

EMPTINESS WELCOMES WITH OPEN ARMS AND NEEDED HUGS
WONDERING WHERE LIFE HAS GONE AND WHY
MIND TO CLUTTERED TO SORT OUT THE PAIN, SHOULDERS SHRUG
DISCARDED

SOCIETY FLOURISHES, MONEY, WINE, WOMEN AND SONG
HUMANITY ROTS, ALLEYS, GARBAGE THROWN ASIDE
BROUGHT UP TO GOOD, TAUGHT RIGHT FROM WRONG
SLIPPING...AWAY...UNNOTICED

I STAND, A DEAD MAN WALKING AS THEY SAY. YET I LIVE, BUT NOT I. IT HAS TAKEN MY LIFETIME TO UNDERSTAND MANY THINGS AND NOW, TODAY WITH NEW ENLIGHTMENT, I SEE THE REALITY OF THIS. I AM DEAD IN THE FLESH, TO THE FLESH, EVEN THO I DO FLESHLY THINGS, THO ITS NOT I , FOR I DON'T WANT TO DO THE THINGS I DO. CHRIST IS LIVING THRU ME, TAKING ALL THE DESIRES OF THIS FLESH AND PLANTING GODLY WAYS INTO MY HEART. WHAT A CHANGE. WHAT A REVELATION, THO IT HAS TAKEN MANY , MANY YEARS.THE STRUGGLE WITH THE MIND, THE DAYS WITHOUT HOPE, THE WILDERNESS JOURNEY WHEN I BELIEVED THERE WAS NO HOPE, NO WAY. ONLY TO CROSS AND WAKE UP SPIRITUALLY , TO SEE THE LIGHT. NOT I BUT HE WHO HAS BEEN. THRU THE DAYS WHEN DEATH SANG SWEET VERSES OF, IT WILL BE BETTER, TAKE ME. I AM UR SAVIOR. WANTING HIM BUT NEVER QUITE ALLOWING HIM TO HAVE MY SPIRIT. HANGING ON, NOW REALIZING NOT I, BUT CHRIST. CARRYING ME WHEN I DIDN'T KNOW . TO BE IN THIS PLACE , AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE, TODAY, WITH THE HOPLESSNESS OF OTHERS SCREAMING FOR HELP, HERE AM I LORD, PLEASE SEND ME. PLEASE USE ME. TAKE WHAT I HAVE LEARNED . TAKE THIS REMADE EARTHEN VESSEL, CHANGED FROM MERE CLAY TO PURE GOLD. DO NOT DELAY FOR I WILL BURST AS NEW WINE IN AN OLD BAG. NEVER HAVE I BEEN SO ALIVE,EVEN WITH THE FEAR OF THE UNEXPECTED. YES STILL FLESH. BUT SO REBORN. I HAVE NO EARTHLY IDEA WHY I WRITE THIS NOR WHY TO YOU. I REALLY KNOW NOTHING. I HAVE NO PATH BUT I POSSESS THE LIGHT. NO DIRECTION, BUT I HAVE THE GUIDE. WHERE HE LEADS I KNOW I WILL FOLLOW. BROKEN IN TIMES PAST SO THAT I WOULD STAY CLOSE TO HIM. TO BE USED WE MUST BECOME AS A CHILD. I SEE THE LIGHT OR AT LEAST THE SOURCE.

I'M SO GLAD HE MADE ME LAME SO I COULD HEAR HIM SPEAK MY NAME. WE WHO HAVE THE BEST EARS HEAR THE LEAST. THE BEST OF VISION, OH SO BLIND. THE STRONGEST OF BODIES, YES WE ARE THOSE WHO DO THE LEAST. WHAT HAVE WE BECOME IN A WORLD OF SO MUCH, TO ONLY LIVE A LIFE WITH SO LITTLE. CAUGHT UP IN THE AFFAIRS OF TODAY, WE CAN'T SEE HIM. WE DON'T HEAR HIM, WE DON'T FEEL HIM, WE DON'T WANT HIM. MAY OUR KNEES BECOME OUR SITTING PLACE, OUR ARMS THRUST HIGH IN ADORATION OF HIM. AND LEST WE FORGET MAY WE BE MADE LAME THAT WE MIGHT HEAR HIM SPEAK OUR NAME.

I'll leave. no problem. Was jsut looking for a place to share. My deepest apologies. Alan King

THE SHAKING HANDS HAVE LONG SINCE STEADIED, KNOWING THE TASK WHICH CREEPS SLOWLY CLOSER. THE SMILE SETTLES ACROSS THE DISTORTED FEATURES OF THE FACE REALIZING PEACE LIES IN REACH. TEARS NO LONGER RUN AS GAUNTLETS OVER SWOLLEN CHEEKS, RED AND BLISTERED FROM DAYS OF CRYING. THE MIND SCREAMING FOR REALITY HAS QUITENED TO A HUSH , THE ERIE SILENCE DEAFNEING IN ITSELF. YET I LISTEN FOR THE CALL.........IT'S OK SON, IT'S GOING TO BE FINE... I'M HERE NOW....YOUR TIME IS NOT YET... MANY THINGS LEFT FOR YOU TO DO.... I NEED YOU...BUT ONLY SILENCE DRIVING THE END CLOSER WITH EACH TICKING OF THE CLOCK, GROWING LOUDER EACH PASSING MOMENT, RUSHING WILDLY TOWARD............OH BUT TO BE TOUCHED, TO BE LOVED, TO BE HELD, TO BE COMFORTED, JUST ONCE. WOULD THAT REALLY HURT. WOULD THAT COST SOMEONE TO MUCH...TIME OR .....BUSY.... SORRY...BUSY...CAN YOU MAKE IT TILL TOMORROW OR.......LEFT ALONE IN DARKNESS , NOWHERE, SOMEHWERE, ANYWHERE WOULD BE BETTER THAN ALONE.....BUT TIME IS WORTH MORE THAN ME......I SENSE I AM EXPENDABLE, WORTH LITTLE IN TODAYS MARKET..........MUCH MORE GOING ON.... WHERE'S MY ANGEL FATHER? DON'T I HAVE ONE SIR? PLEASE SEND HIM SOON. IT'S GETTING VERY DARK SIR.... AM I GOING BLIND OR.....AM I THAT BAD SIR....HAVE I FAILED SO MISERABLY... TO SUFFER THIS WAY AND FOR HOW LONG...THERE IS AN END....PLEASE TELL ME THERE IS AN END.... I DON'T THINK I CAN HOLD OUT MUCH LONGER WITHOUT A LITTLE HOPE...A LITTLE HELP....JUST A LITTLE TO CARRY ME THRU...THIS TIME IS REALLY BAD, WORSE THAN ALL THE OTHERS, CAN'T YOU SEE.....TELL ME PLEASE THAT YOU SEE... I'M RIGHT HERE... CRYING OUT TO YOU... YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T FORSAKE ME...NEVER LEAVE ME....I FEEL ALONE...SO VERY ALONE...THE TEARS ARE OBSCURING MY WAY AGAIN,THE PAIN TWISTING MY FEATURES...I DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME...WORDS FALL ON DEAF EARS.

THE SHAKING HANDS HAVE LONG SINCE STEADIED, KNOWING THE TASK WHICH CREEPS SLOWLY CLOSER. THE SMILE SETTLES ACROSS THE DISTORTED FEATURES OF THE FACE REALIZING PEACE LIES IN REACH. TEARS NO LONGER RUN AS GAUNTLETS OVER SWOLLEN CHEEKS, RED AND BLISTERED FROM DAYS OF CRYING. THE MIND SCREAMING FOR REALITY HAS QUITENED TO A HUSH , THE ERIE SILENCE DEAFNEING IN ITSELF. YET I LISTEN FOR THE CALL.........IT'S OK SON, IT'S GOING TO BE FINE... I'M HERE NOW....YOUR TIME IS NOT YET... MANY THINGS LEFT FOR YOU TO DO.... I NEED YOU...BUT ONLY SILENCE DRIVING THE END CLOSER WITH EACH TICKING OF THE CLOCK, GROWING LOUDER EACH PASSING MOMENT, RUSHING WILDLY TOWARD............OH BUT TO BE TOUCHED, TO BE LOVED, TO BE HELD, TO BE COMFORTED, JUST ONCE. WOULD THAT REALLY HURT. WOULD THAT COST SOMEONE TO MUCH...TIME OR .....BUSY.... SORRY...BUSY...CAN YOU MAKE IT TILL TOMORROW OR.......LEFT ALONE IN DARKNESS , NOWHERE, SOMEHWERE, ANYWHERE WOULD BE BETTER THAN ALONE.....BUT TIME IS WORTH MORE THAN ME......I SENSE I AM EXPENDABLE, WORTH LITTLE IN TODAYS MARKET..........MUCH MORE GOING ON.... WHERE'S MY ANGEL FATHER? DON'T I HAVE ONE SIR? PLEASE SEND HIM SOON. IT'S GETTING VERY DARK SIR.... AM I GOING BLIND OR.....AM I THAT BAD SIR....HAVE I FAILED SO MISERABLY... TO SUFFER THIS WAY AND FOR HOW LONG...THERE IS AN END....PLEASE TELL ME THERE IS AN END.... I DON'T THINK I CAN HOLD OUT MUCH LONGER WITHOUT A LITTLE HOPE...A LITTLE HELP....JUST A LITTLE TO CARRY ME THRU...THIS TIME IS REALLY BAD, WORSE THAN ALL THE OTHERS, CAN'T YOU SEE.....TELL ME PLEASE THAT YOU SEE... I'M RIGHT HERE... CRYING OUT TO YOU... YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T FORSAKE ME...NEVER LEAVE ME....I FEEL ALONE...SO VERY ALONE...THE TEARS ARE OBSCURING MY WAY AGAIN,THE PAIN TWISTING MY FEATURES...I DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME...WORDS FALL ON DEAF EARS.

PLEASE LORD NO TOMORROW, CANT YOU TAKE ME HOME TODAY
PLEASE LORD NO TOMORROW, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SAY
I'VE WALKED THE WAY AS YOU HAVE TAUGHT, I'VE TURNED MY OTHER CHEEK. WANT YOU PLEASE TAKE ME HOME, FOR LORD I'M VERY WEAK
MY PAIN TOOK ME TO MY CLOSET WHERE YOU KNOW THE THINGS I STORE.
I'M THINKING STONGLY ABOUT SOME THINGS, CAUSE LORD I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE. DO U REALLY LOVE ME GOD, DO MY TEARS BRING U GRIEF.
I DONT MEAN TO BE WEAK LORD BUT ALAN NEEDS RELIEF
IVE CRIED GOD TILL MY CHEEKS YOU KNOW THEY BURN
IVE HURT OH GOD TILL THEYRES NOTHING LEFT TO LEARN. PLEASE SEND OH LORD I BEG, ONE PERSON WITH SOME HELP
CAUSE I REALLY NEED TO SLEEP. BUT MOST OF ALL OH GOD , I REALLY, REALLY DO NEED SOME RELIEF........ I CAN ONLY WRITE WHEN THE PAIN HAS TAKEN MY LIFE FROM ME. THE TEARS WON'T GO AWAY. THE SUN WON'T SHINE IN MY HEART TODAY. I CRY TILL I EMBARRASS MYSELF. NO WHERE TO GO. NO ONE HERE TO HELP. I JUST DON'T WANT TO SEE THE SUN TOMORROW. SOME TIMES I THINK I CAN'T AND EVEN MORESO I WON'T. MY THROAT IS LIKE THE DESERT DRY, MY EYES AS CLOUDS RUNG DRY. WITH TREMBLING HANDS I SEEK FOR WORDS, TO TELL MY STORY NEVER HEARD. PAIN THAT SHKES ME TO MY CORE, PAIN THAT SPEAKS OF MUCH MUCH MORE. NO OASIS DO THESE EYES THEY SEE, NO HOPE OF THAT ARMY TO SET ME FREE. IN ISOLATION OF HUNDREDS PRISON PAST, WITH UNHEARD SPEECH I CRY FOR LAST. PLEASE LIFT ME FROM TORTURES UNTAMED. MOVE ME FROM DEMON TORMENTS ASHAMED. EYES NO LONGER SEE AS VISION BECOMES MARRED, HEART NO LONGER FEELING, OF COUNTLESS YEARS SCARRED. DARKNESS ABOUNDS , EACH BREATH A GASP, SOBS IN FLURRIES BREATH IN RASP. PRAYERS NOT UNANSWERED, THIS I KNOW. JUST UNHEARD, CAPTURED BY THE FOE. I LONG FOR DAY WHEN I SLEEP NO MORE, HOW MUCH, OH GOD, OF THIS INSTORE. HELP ME , PLEASE.

thanku and im glad someone enjoys it.
its real and from my heart

I SLIPPED OFF INTO THE NOTHINGNESS OF NIGHT CARRESSED BY THE NEEDLES DROOPING FROM PINES
ALMOST SILENT FOOTSTEPS OF CREATURES, UNSEEN, SCURRYING TO AND FRO
LOOKING FOR A MORSEL OF GREENERY, MAYBE AN INSECT AMONGST THE HONEYSUCKLE VINES
ME, AN INVADER, NON RECLUCTANT TO JOIN THERE FORBIDDEN WORLD...SO

STEPPING LIGHTLY TO DISTURB AS LITTLE OF THEIR WORLD AS POSSIBLE I MOVE ON
WANTING TO BLEND SO I COULD ABSORB THE PEACE THAT ENGULFED ME
REACHING RATHER BLINDLY FOR THE UNSEEN PATH, THOUGHTS ARISING THAT IT MIGHT BE GONE
NIGHT EYES TAKING OVER, CALMNESS ENSUING, LONGING FOR THE WORLD I CANNOT SEE

MISTAKEN IDENITIES I'M THINKING, AM I WHO AND WHAT AND WHERE I'M SUSPOSED TO BE
TO MUCH, TO EARLY ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THE SMALL WORLD I AM TRESPASSING INTO
A SHADOW, MAYBE MAYBE NOT, FADING FAST IF IT WAS EVEN THERE, SOMETHING TRYING TO FLEE
THOUGHTS OBSCURED BY DAYS GONE BY SLIPPED AWAY INTO THE NEW

MY COMPANION, MY PARTNER DRIFTED IN TO STAY FROM SOMEWHERE IN MY PAST
THRU THE TURMOILED DAYS OF STIFF OPPOSITION FROM DEMONIC PRESENCE A TRUE FRIEND
SNUGGLED CLOSE AS I TOOK A MOMENT TO GATHER LIGHT FROM MOON BEAMS CAST
RUBBING HER COAT AS IF SHE WER'NT REAL, THINKING HOW I'M GONNA FEEL AT THE END

AS IF SENSING MY THOUGHTS HER WHIMPER BROUGHT ME BACK TO THE NIGHT AND NOW
SMALL RIVERS OF TEARS GATHERING IN PUDDLES THREATING TO DAMPEN MY PASSAGE
BENDING ON CREAKING KNEES AS A GESTURE OF PURE LOVE SOMEHOW
NO WORDS NEED SPOKEN AS SILENCE BEMOANS THE TRUTH OF THE MESSAGE

ONE NIGHT, SOME NIGHT, MAYBE THIS NIGHT THIS SHADOW STREAKED FORREST WITH ALL ITS GRACE
WILL FIND US SOFTLY STEPPING OVER PINE BARK TWIGS AND HONEYSUCKLE VINES
SEARCHING FOR HOME, TO LAY OUR WEARY HEADS, MABYE OUR FINAL RESTING PLACE
BUT UNTILL THEN WE WILL SEEK FOR PEACE, LAY DOWN THE BURDENS AND LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND

sad truth is it's real

thanks

death called this morning echoing thru the the morning mist bringing back memories of the bull bats of late summer. tears found the old washed out gullies of the cheeks i thot were filled with the future. the need so strong it breaks the granite stone of my will causing pain as a hammer against the nail. distant, arid, forsaken glimpses of yesteryear beckon with ever welcoming cries. life for me grows more dim and short, faster than i desire. covered up now only i know. crying out stopped so long ago amidst non answered pleas. i sit alone shaking , dying, crying to no avail. the shuddrs , the headaches, the comsumption, lost next to deaths prying fingers. gripped so tite i dare not try to pry them away anymore for fear she mite not come again.