Thanks peggy.

As I have been Mum and dad for the last 2 years I am totally connected to my remaining two children, they are my life and their love is my strength.

I spent 10 years looking for love travelling half of the world and fell in love twice in 4 months, I married the 2nd one.

I believe love finds you when you aren't looking for it.

Thanks 532.

The last affair was many years ago when we had one 2 year old and no money.

I suspected the affair but she denied it for 13 years when she came clean, we had two more children by then and things were going well for us.

I was shaken but not stirred. She said she went to the hospital after the first affair got stressed and saw a doctor trained in depression, she had one half hour session and felt so good afterwards she never went again.

Thank you cristalfairy. Talking on here helps and I had more hugs this last week than years with my wife.

It's just 25 years of history in love takes a lot of putting behind you.

My wife asked me I was going to take the photos down of us all, I said of course not, I love them even though it hurts to look at them.

Each day it's getting easier mainly because I got a cleaner in !

We are British living in Portugal. The UK has the highest divorce rate any where in the world but the Portuguese have one of the lowest.

This situation is not about the desire for another partner, it's about trying to fix depression.

My wife has a shopping addiction, it's the usual fix for feeling down but when that doesn't do it anymore and the depression gets worse the only thing to make her feel good is an affair.

Wow thanks for all the replies.

My wife of 25 years is beautiful but troubled by a childhood event, her mother walking out when she was 4.

The damage manifests as depression. The first thing she told the guy was all about her mother.

I saw this affair coming by her behaviour so wrote her a letter wishing her to go and be happy with who ever it is.

It's 10 days since she was asked 'to come ad get her things' and things couldn't be better.

The depression has lifted off the house, I'm happier the kids are happier, 18 and 12. The guy is cool and we are all friends.

He is in love with her but she is a mess, she says she loves him but I know her so well. She knows she can't come back this time.

But oh how hard it is for me to see them together, I still love her deeply as I know she doesn't really know what she is doing.

which why I am new here. She knows there is no coming back this time.

Have you experienced a partner having an affair ?